IEP meeting

I have the impression that many IEP meetings are frustrating and painful experiences. Well, maybe I'm doing something wrong, because the IEP meeting that I attended today was a relatively pleasant break for me, compared to all of my pain and frustrations at work!

There were only four attendees: myself, JF's teacher, JF's speech teacher, and the chair of the meeting from Program Support. As I may have mentioned before, I really like JF's teacher. I've met both of the other two women before, and haven't had any problems with them.

During this meeting, I raised a few concerns:

• Number of hours per week
• ESY
• Pre-kindergarten

And then there were miscellaneous discussions, too.

Number of hours per week

I was worried about the number of hours of instruction for JF. I asked whether it could be increased from 15 hours per week to 20. They asked why. I told them about the recommendation in the DAN! website for 20-40 hours of ABA per week. The first response was that JF doesn't need intense ABA therapy. He does well with some ABA, but if that was his only therapy, he would actually make less progress than he is making now. They said ABA isn't ideal for higher-functioning kids like JF. I think they also said that ABA would reduce his ability to generalize what he is learning. They suggested that I look into Applied Verbal Behavior (AVB). They also mentioned something about a Pre-K Autism program.

I said, "I'm not worried so much about what type of therapy as I am about the amount of time." They asked why. I said, "Because more is better." They said that they don't have a program for kids like JF with 20 hours per week. The program that he's in, PEP-INC, has the longest amount of time per week. I asked whether it should be about what resources the county has, or what JF needs. They agreed that it should be about what JF needs.

Then JF's teacher made the point that having JF in daycare with his (neurotypical) peers is crucial. One of his strengths is his tendency to imitate what he sees and hears, and a large part of his week should be spent with his peers, so he can observe how they talk, behave, and interact. This was persuasive for me, because the more time he spends in a preschool program, the less time he would have with neurotypical peers.

His teacher continued, asking whether we know about the autism waiver. We don't. She explained that it is money (from the state) to explore outside therapies. However, there is a long waiting list, and higher-functioning kids are less likely to get it.

ESY

I wanted JF to receive ESY services. Fortunately, the team determined that he will. The reasons included:

• Presence of emerging skills or breakthrough opportunities: He "is beginning to have more spontaneous speech and decreased echolalia. The team is concerned that he might lose those skills over the summer break."
• Special circumstances that require ESY: He "has missed a lot of school due to illness." (For each of the past two illnesses, JF lost a week from school. Someone at the meeting mentioned that he has missed about a month, total.)

The ESY dates are 7/2/07-8/3/07. Right away, I asked whether there is any wiggle room in these dates, because the last week of these dates conflict with our family vacation in Vermont. The answer was, "There is no wiggle room, but you should go ahead with your vacation plans anyway. It will be good for him to be with his family on vacation, even if it means that he'll miss a week of ESY."

I asked whether this decision to give JF ESY services would transfer to Howard County when we move. (I mentioned that we are still planning to move, but we don't know when.) They said yes, with the new state IEP form, any other county in Maryland should honor this decision. I speculated that Howard County might not have the same dates for ESY. JF's teacher said that it's usually in July, because that gives the school time to hire and train new teachers before the new school year starts.

Pre-kindergarten

I asked whether JF should be enrolled in pre-K in the fall. (He will turn four in May.) JF's teacher said that the Montgomery County pre-K program is a special program under Head-Start, with enrollment based on income. The goal of the program is to help the less-advantaged kids. It's five days per week, but only 2.5 hours per day. There are about 20 kids in each class, with one teacher and one aide. The PEP-INC class is a much smaller ratio, and JF still needs that smaller ratio.

On the other hand, they said he might attend a normal class by kindergarten!

I don't remember how they worded this, but it made my heart skip a beat. I pictured JF as a completely "normal" five-year-old, playing and conversing with his classmates. It wasn't until I typed the above statement just now that I realized, they weren't making any promises about JF outgrowing his developmental delay. They were merely talking about including him in a regular kindergarten class. Oh, well. Even that is progress.

Miscellaneous discussions

JF seems to be learning a lot of Spanish. He apparently likes to say, "No mas, " to one of his PEP classmates.

JF has days where he makes progress on a skill, but then one day he'll seem to forget the skill. His teacher called these his "ups and downs." I asked whether this was normal. She said, "No, but we have to address it."

JF's speech teacher mentioned that he sometimes seems afraid to be wrong. He knows the answer, but hesitates about answering. She suggested, when we're working with him at home, if he gets something wrong, we should respond gently, as in "Yes, it looks like a chicken, but it's a turkey." I told her that we generally do respond that way to JF's mistakes at home, but I admitted that I might be responding too strongly when he makes a mistake getting dressed. I speculated that this might be where he's getting his fear of making mistakes. The speech teacher suggested a book by Boynton called Oops. And we should let him see us making mistakes. She also suggested, when we're waiting for him to answer a question, sometimes it helps to look at him expectantly.

I mentioned that JF bit my chin last night and then laughed at me when I screamed in pain. Both teachers offered a series of suggestions that I've probably mentioned here before. Once we were past that, I reminded JF's teacher how she had responded to JF once during a home visit, when he spat on the table. I told her that AF and I still haven't figured out how to duplicate that tone of voice. She has a knack for making him nearly cry when he's done something bad. When we try it, he just laughs at us. She said we should use a deep, stern voice, authoritative without being angry. The speech teacher said sometimes it helps to get down on the child's level first. She said this suggestion came from "the Nanny book" (related to the Super Nanny show on TV).

So that was JF's IEP meeting. I really don't know whether I did a good job of getting my son what he needs. Maybe I'll be wiser and more confident about these things the next time.

Meanwhile, AF took JF to Dr. Buck, the surgeon who repaired JF's hernia, for his follow-up appointment at 4:00. AF called me a short time ago complaining about the long drive to get there, and the long wait to see the doctor. And after all that, the doctor looked at JF briefly and said he's fine. Of course, he was relieved that JF is fine, but annoyed that it wasn't a big deal to the doctor.

Then, AF took JF to the pediatrician's office. JF was out sick all last week, with a fever, runny/stuffy nose, and a cough. The fever went down by Friday, but the congestion and cough continued throughout the weekend. On Saturday night, his cough had started to sound like asthma, so we gave him albuterol. It seemed to help him enough so that he could sleep. We gave him albuterol again last night, too. So today, AF called the pediatrician and asked for an appointment sometime today after the 4:00 appointment. The best they could do was 7:15 PM.

AF just called me with the results of that visit: bronchitis and antibiotics. Go figure.